(The Guardian) – At the last minute, Zoë decided to call off her euthanasia. But how do you start over after you’ve said all of your goodbyes?

Everybody gathered round the bed. Evelien was standing at the head. She had promised Zoë to keep talking to her until after she had been dead a while.

The psychiatrist ran through everything one last time, step by step. “The first injection will numb your vein.”

Zoë was sweating. Her heart was pounding.

“The second will cause your breathing to stop. Death will follow soon after.”

In order to comply with the law around euthanasia, the psychiatrist had to ask one final question: “Are you sure?”

Zoë began to cry, softly at first, but when she saw the syringe the psychiatrist was holding, it turned into sobbing. She was afraid that she would still be conscious when her breathing stopped. Zoë’s mother was crying too.

Zoë went out into the hospice garden to see her younger brother, who had been waiting there for everything to be over. She smoked a cigarette, went for a stroll with the psychiatrist and, with Evelien, listened to the piano music they had selected for the funeral.

At half past three, she messaged all her contacts: “Dear all, I changed my mind at the last minute and won’t be dying today. My apologies for any panic that I may have caused.” (Read More)