Deception upon deception, but the truth will out

May 20, 2007

In her article, “EXTRA: Controversial conception” Alexandra Hackett describes human egg donation, and briefly details the experiences of two women: Kelli, an egg donor, and “Jane,” a mother through egg donation. Throughout the article, one can recognize threads of secrecy, deception, and truth, although in ways perhaps unintended.

The process is called “egg donation.” Dr. Sandy Goodman, a fertility specialist, “calls it a $3000 compensation for time, effort and discomfort.” Alexandra Hackett, the author, describes it as lucrative, and says flatly, “Donors are paid for their eggs.” When the intended mother is paying $30,000, and the egg “donor” is receiving one-tenth of that, it is indeed lucrative for someone(s).

Dr. Goodman is also quoted as saying, “They aren’t donating a human being. It’s an egg and it has to be fertilized to become a human being.” Kelli, the egg donor, stated, “It would be my DNA and that’s it. . .” Yet the story shows that the egg “donated” is truly more than a bit of DNA. Kelli “wonders about those eggs she donated, what those children may look like.” She has given thought to it, and would like to see pictures. Who wants to see pictures of their DNA? Who whips out photos of their DNA to friends and family? It is our children in pictures we show to others.

“Jane,” a mother through egg donation, is planning to tell her son so-conceived, about his origins someday. But for now, it is a secret—from friends, family, and readers, as “Jane” is not her real name. This is confusing, given her statement, “Being a mom is 90 percent what you bring to the child. Nurturing and all that is really only 10 percent genetics.” If the egg donation business is only “ten percent” of the endeavor, why is it so important to keep it a secret?

“Jane” is not the only one confused. Egg “donation” has a price—of $30,000? A “donor of DNA” gets paid for “donating”? A woman wants to see pictures of her DNA, aka children? This is all okay, yet we shroud it in secrecy? Secrets are powerful, and they are heavy weights for the bearers thereof. We as a society need to come to grips with two truths about this enterprise. The first is that although we humans have the unique ability to name things, we cannot by changing the name thereby change the essence of a thing. The second is the fact that there is nothing hidden that will not be eventually revealed.